A couple of weeks ago, I was assigned the coverage of the 50-year Anniversary Celebration and Rededication Ceremony at Strom Thurmond High School.

In the process of writing the article, I asked several of the speakers during the Friday’s portion of the celebration to forward me their notes. I was so touched with the remarks made by Attorney Greg Anderson (Class of ’73) that after sending him an e-mail telling him something to that effect, I put the copy of his speech in my desk drawer while absent-mindedly thinking that maybe, with his permission of course, I could refer to some of his comments in a future column.

In the speech, Mr. Anderson talked about having lost two of his closest friends to death earlier this year. “They both died far too young in life,” he said. “But their passing made me remember something I learned many years ago and that I think is worth repeating today.”
He told about the fact that in the cemeteries each grave bears a tombstone or grave marker. On that tombstone is the full name of the person buried there; immediately underneath,
there is the date of birth, followed by a dash, and then the person’s date of death.

“The most important part of that tombstone is the dash,” he said. “It represents all the time that person spent on this earth.”

To further the idea, he read from a poem, “For it matters not how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash. What matters is how we live and love, and how we spend our dash.”
Little did I know that I would have the opportunity to expand on Mr. Anderson’s comments so soon.

Last week, I too, said good-bye to a very dear friend of mine. Although my daughter Sharon had attended school with Betty Rucker’s granddaughters Amanda and Stephanie, I did not come to know her until about 7 or 8 years ago when I began frequenting the S&S Truck Stop.

I’m sure many of you have read my previous columns about the truck stop. Ms. Betty was the third shift waitress and night manager at the S&S. I first started going there with a group of friends after the Carolina Jamboree, but after awhile, I began stopping by there when I happened to work late on Monday nights or sometimes I just rode out there to “get out of the house for awhile.”

There were usually friends and regulars to talk to, but Ms. Betty was the biggest draw. She always had a smile on her face and no matter how tired or down I was, she had me laughing in a little while. After some time passed, Sharon also started going to the truck stop with friends and she became acquainted with Ms. Betty. We both were going through some adjustments in our lives at the time and it became our “home away from home.” Sometimes, a person doesn’t realize what someone is doing for them at the time it’s happening—it’s only upon looking back that it becomes clear.

That was the case with me.

Many times, Ms. Betty didn’t know the details or the depth of what was on my mind, but it didn’t matter. She considered it her personal obligation to be there for me and to make me feel better.

Ms. Betty was fond of the Aiken and Edgefield County deputies who came to the truck stop late at night, and she had a table especially for them. If we had a large crowd that stayed longer than usual at the “big table,” she gave them the next best table. She remembered what foods her customers liked best and as one deputy put on her tribute wall, one of her favorite sayings was, “Shoot, yeah!”

She loved all good music, but especially gospel music. Sometimes, she would bring her CDs to work with her and play them for us. Or we would get her to dancing to the music of the oldies on the juke box. She loved the “Carolina Jamboree,” although she wasn’t able to attend often because of her work schedule. She loved seeing Elvis Tribute Artist Jason Sikes perform and he sang, “Peace in the Valley” at her funeral.

According to her obituary, she loved to read the newspapers and even though I didn’t know that little tidbit about her before, I would have guessed it because she was always informed on current events and local happenings. She also loved her family (she had seven children; 17 grandchildren; and 18 great-grandchildren). She loved her friends and just people in general.

But most importantly, she loved life and she loved her Maker.

The point I’m getting to is that I’m sure there were things Ms. Betty would have liked to do that she never had the opportunity to do—I heard her mention a few of them—but she didn’t sit around waiting for those things to happen to live her life. She didn’t wait until her status in life improved or the journey was made easier. She simply planted her garden where she was with what she had, and she touched the lives of many people. She certainly touched mine.

After the truck stop closed two and a half years ago, Ms. Betty and I talked often on the phone. I could tell some of those times that she didn’t feel well, but she was never one to complain. I went to see her in the hospital a few days before she died and I didn’t know it would be the last time I would see her alive. When I was getting ready to go, I told her I loved her and she replied, “I love you, too, Baby.” And I know without a doubt, she did, because among other things, Ms. Betty was sincere.

Her funeral service was both moving and inspiring.

The minister said she had requested that her service be a celebration, not a time of mourning. In fact, he quoted her as saying it would be okay if everyone just brought their lawn chairs and stayed awhile. That was like her to say something like that. Because so many people thought so much of her, her funeral was sad but it was uplifting also. Her death was a loss not only to her family but to everyone who came in contact with her. The minister talked about the strong work ethic she gave her children.

I don’t know about her other jobs, but she stood on her feet for 26 years at the truck stop, mostly seven days a week. Unlike many, she chose to work until she was nearly 76 years old. Near the end of her service, the minister said, “What she has done for us must now be done by us.” And then at her request because she was so concerned with soul-winning, he gave an invitation for others to give their hearts to Jesus.

In Mr. Anderson’s speech, he mentions a number of people who went on to be famous or accomplish great things after being told they would never succeed or after being defeated several times. While these people are to be admired and emulated, one doesn’t have to be famous to be successful, as proved by Ms. Betty’s life.

“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They simply make the best of everything they have,” Mr. Anderson said.

Ms. Betty had a fairly long dash, but it doesn’t matter whether your dash is long or short.
The important thing is that she lived her dash. That’s something to think about.

How are you spending yours?